I too left my preparation for civil services in my college, thinking the same that I am incapable of clearing civil services examination. It took me two long years to finally come back. Only after I realized I am more incapable to perform in other spheres .
Now that I came back for my preparations for civil services, I never tried to judge my capabilities. Only thing I knew was that there is no going back.
I gave my hundred percent, getting small successes in mock tests helped in building my confidence . The outcome was I cleared civil services in the very attempt I gave after I left my job.
I was the same person , in my first attempt in college I failed to even clear prelims and in my second attempt after coming back I got 617 rank. Only thing that changed was my attitude. So Please don't ever judge your self. You are equally capable just like anyone else. Its just some small failures have broken down your confidence.
I would suggest 1st take up some job and make yourself financially stable, start building momentum for your civil services. Keep making notes from newspaper, consolidate your optional and mains slybuss. Give prelims , and if you feel result will be in your favor ,take a break from the job. Leave job only when you are 100 percent convinced about this exam and struggle it is going to offer. People with their jobs also are clearing civils now-a-days.
At the end what matters is your will and conviction. I have many batch-mates who started as laborers, technicians or hailing from villages without any resources. If they can do so you can . Just be happy about yourself , accept your strengths and weaknesses openly and keep aspiring to make yourself better. You will surely do great.
P.S: If you need any help, please reach out to me.
