Wow, I am going to USA. New life, all my dreams are now going to come true - These are some sentiments with which people start they grad school journey. But as with everything in life, there are two sides to it. You have asked for bitter truths, here they are in my opinion-
- When you get down at the US airport and go to claim your luggage, you will have to pay $5 for a trolley. And you will curse - that is Rs 350! You will convert $ to INR for every damn thing and make yourself miserable. You won’t eat properly, buy fruits, use dishwasher, drink juices because everytime you will tell yourself, that’s too expensive.
- You will hate the milkless coffee in the beginning, there won’t be any good tea. Slowly you will Americanize yourself and start developing a taste for the Starbucks, apple pies, guacamole, donuts etc etc
- First time you attend the classes and see your assignments, you will sweat and struggle. We practically learn nothing useful in our Bachelor’s in India but the you will be expected to know so many things and tools in USA. You will curse yourself for wasting your time in college. You would wish you have actually coded, learned linux, blah blah. So you will start learning there and would feel a bit behind. There might be a Chinese in your project group who would seem to know it all. You might develop an inferiority complex unless you gear yourself up to start learning.
- You might start working part time in cafes or libraries etc to meet your living expenses. That would make you feel like shit. You, who had two servants at home, are washing dishes? Ouch. You would tear up.
- Your classmates would ask you to go to pubs for hanging out and you won’t because you don’t drink or smoke. You will judge Americans and any Indian who would go. Someday you will be curious enough to go too. Shit might happen, someone throwing up. You might be disgusted.
But somedays could be fun. Gradually you find yourself closer to these people. And then you will realize that they are just having their version of fun and it doesn’t have to be judged. You would find your healthy space where you can enjoy the company and getting involved in drinking/partying only to the extent you feel comfortable.
- Topic of sex and physical relationships will keep you bamboozled :D. Your flatmate seeing a girl and vice versa might make you uncomfortable but you will get around it eventually. People ditching relationships, making new gf/bf will supply you endless gossip and you would keep judging until you realize that it is okay to do so.
- You would love your first snowfall until you realize that the bloody thing doesn’t stop. Heavy snowfall might happen and you notice that it is already dark at 4pm. You would feel utterly depressed.
- It is Holi and there are no colors. It is Diwali but no crackers or your mom made delicacies. Yes, there are garba parties and candle lighting etc. But you would miss home terribly. You would miss your siblings on Rakshabandhan. You would always miss Roti Daal or Sambar or whatever it is that you got everyday at home.
- Job season would come and you might find yourself relatively incompetent. The interviews here are more intense and you are expected to know things. There is no jugaad or winging things in US. You feel fucked but then you would work your ass off and get yourself placed.
- You think you will work for a couple of years and will go back to your loved ones in India. 95% chance is there that it won’t happen. You will find a good job, get married and decide to settle in USA. Once kids arrive, no one goes back. You will be the first generation immigrant and you will neither belong to India and you never be an American in true sense. That feeling of ‘not belonging’ will gnaw at you in your later stage.
- You would visit India more frequently in the start and then they would taper off. Eventually you would realize that everyone has their own lives. You have moved on, and they have too.
I hope that’s not too depressing because the fact is you will make great friends, meet some incredible people, grow, become confident and see beautiful places as well. Do you turn it all into a happy or sad climax is up to you. I am a big proponent of going to USA for MS :)
